A Tough Nut to Swallow

I have finally finished reading the book to which I referred some time ago, given by a friend. The title of the book is A Change of Allegiance and it was written by Dean Taylor. Quoting from the back cover: "Dean..and his wife were both in the U. S. Army when they realized that, as committed Christians, they had to come to grip with the questions What should a Christian do with Jesus' words "love your enemies? Is it all right for a Christian to go to war? and Doesn't a Christian have an obligation to defend his country? In a new and sincere quest for truth, they were determined to follow Jesus Christ under the banner "no Compromise." As they began to search the Scriptures and church history, they came to the startling discovery that the Christian Church originally was uniformly opposed to Christians going to war or joining the military."
I have always been conflicted about this theme. Knowing in my heart that I believe we should not inflict harm on one another. Knowing that war in any form is wrong. Knowing that hatred between us is wrong. Yet, coming from a family of people who have proudly, obediently and bravely gone to war to protect our nation and our freedom. My father beached on Normandy. My Uncle holds a Purple Heart. My brothers were in Viet Nam, one of them, too, holds a Purple Heart. Knowing that on 9-11 my heart and mind raged against the "enemy" and I would have done anything at all asked of me by my country on that day.
Deeply held beliefs on both side of the coin.
I have a few of these...and I lightly dabble from time to time in thinking about it, chasing my tail, so to speak....this, no that, no this.....and coming up with no way to come down definitively on either side.
That's why I simply hated beginning to read this book. I knew it might make me decide. And I knew that wasn't going to be easy.
The book is actually a good read. It's the journey on which it takes you that is difficult.
Have I come up with an answer for myself?
Yes.
I have made up my mind that the type of Conscientious Objector to which Mr. Taylor refers is absolutely the right thing.
I have made up my mind that few people (I believe) can ever be exactly that kind of Christian.
I believe that those who can are truly blessed.
I believe that if, tomorrow, everyone reached that state, our civilization would be gone. In fact, no doubt, "most" civilization would be gone. And we would have to be "okay with that."
Because after all, we would have reached our allegiance with God. We would have saved our souls.
But as I don't think that will ever happen.....then I believe there must be no hope at all for the rest of us.
Am I sorry I read the book? No, not at all. It stretched my mind and my heart. It got me thinking hard about the questions he raises, and the questions he caused me to raise. I'd recommend anyone read the book. But be prepared to come face to face with hopelessness. Futility. It's all or nothing at all. Christianity is not for the faint of heart, dear ones. Not at all.