B J Roushey and Friend

I composed this a number of years ago for my mother, about her father, my beloved Grandfather - Bradner J Roushey. He never made the trip to visit us very often, back then the hundred miles or so would take a long time to travel. But the scene below repeated itself every time. And after he'd had a chance to call God in on the visit, and to have a cup of tea and a bite to eat, he and I would walk through the nearby fields, hills and woods to have deep secret talks and to laugh and simply enjoy the presence of each other - and of the Special Guest. I could not have loved my Grandfather more - he was everything in the world to me. He was a funny, funny man, with a heart of gold, a child's vision of the world, and a true love of God.

My long armed, long legged, long winded Grampa was hard to keep up with. For long as I could remember, folks said he'd talk your ear off! I thought, as he strode
the fields and woods beside me that he'd walk my legs off. His voice would
carry across the view as he waved his arms and flapped his long animated hands,
and I imagined that my Mom could hear his every word back at the house.
"Look at how the Lord loves you, child! Look what He prepares for your table!"
Grampa was a tall, long man - a man with long floppy ears, a big nose, and a long, loud voice.
But he was more like another child than an adult. His giggly laugh was always lurking, ready to bust out at the most unexpected moment. His twinkling eyes saw a joke coming a mile away. He delighted in every step of our wanderings. He never tired of hearing my thoughts and dreams. He alone knew my secret name I called myself. It was to him I told the deepest secrets of my heart.
And I knew that anything I told him was just between me, him and God.
Couldn't get more safe than that.
Grampa was "bornagain".
Never was sure what that meant, but it had something to do with ending up on
real good terms with God and getting to talk to Him and read His word like no
one else could.
I always liked to be present when Grandpa talked to God.
It was the best day when Grandpa would come to visit 'cause right after he'd arrive, God would get there!
Never knew anybody else that God visited. To my way of thinking, can't get more special than that!
We'd hear the chugging and banging of Grandpa's car and Mother would yank off her apron and dry her hands and we'd all run like chickens to watch his arrival. The noise of the car would grow louder and louder to announce him and suddenly stop dead. There'd be this great quiet and the door would open and Grandpa would begin to unfold.
You'd see one, long, black high top shoe at the end of a very long leg. Then the long, skinny fingers of his long hand would reach out and grasp the top of the door and pull the rest of the seemingly endless length of man from the dark interior.

Sometimes I envisioned that this might be the actual act of getting "bornagain."

I don't think any of us breathed until, at last, with a smile that must have been as big as God's Grandpa showed up out of that car.
Then the spell was broken and we'd rush at him with hugs and kisses held at
bay until he'd kneel way down to receive them.
Once we'd been fondly attended to, he'd stand and look to our waiting mother.
"Daughter" he'd say. And they'd share a little hug.
She'd answer, "Dad" and clench her hands together into a tiny fist and turn to lead us all back into the house.
And then would come the visit from God.
Grandpa would direct us all on the correct way to situate ourselves, all kneeling in a circle, there in the dining room, holding hands and only the youngest ones allowed to fidget. The boys would be wiggling and poking elbows, and even I, the eldest, would take some jiggling to get my boney knees adjusted.
Then Grandpa would speak, "Lord" and just like that, God was there.
No noisy car, no horns or whistles for Him.
Just
"Lord"
and He was there.
"Thank you Lord, for getting me safely here again, to be in the bosom of my
family" and then, knowing as how the Lord had probably forgot us since the last
time they'd visited us, he'd go around and re-introduce us.

Boasting Rights

How do I not sound like a bragging, boasting Grandmother when I describe the week we recently spent with our oldest Granddaughter as the most amazing house guest?

See the thing is, we do have absolutely lovely grandchildren. I am the proudest mother there ever was when I look at the love and wisdom my children are putting into the rearing of their children. I absolutely adore the job they are doing with these youngsters. I hope they know what it means to us.

But the thing is you see, Jessica is at an age where she really could get away with being obnoxious because we'd say to ourselves, "well, that's 14." And we'd hope for better things in a year or two.

That is just not the case. She was with us for just a hair short of a week. And we never saw any of the things you might expect.

We saw a young lady who is bright, who is loving, who has a delightful sense of humor, and huge compassion. She is a reader. She is family oriented.

Our first full day was spent with family. I wanted her to have some down time to get to know her aunts and uncles and cousins better, and for them to know her. All that happened. It was lovely.

The second day was packed full of activity.

We did Philadelphia and got a lot seen! She saw the Liberty Bell, she saw the Constitution Center and posed with her ancestor there. We went to Congress Hall. We walked a lot and enjoyed a beautiful day.

We then drove up to see her Great-Grandmother. This is one of times her generous heart really showed....she spent an hour being with Great Grandmom as if it were the only place she ever wanted to be. I know Mom felt the love and I know she enjoyed every moment. It was really touching. Mom did some reminiscing about Jessica's dad and we all had tears.

After the visit, we headed on to the Grange Fair where we met Great Uncle Dan and Aunt Leenie. Again, Jessica was unfazed with not having known them...she fit right in, we had a great time, including a ride she challenged me to take with her - it was a bit terrifying, but I did it! Lastly, that evening, we "subjected" her to a jug band who, although they were terrific, I'm sure were not playing her music. Not a peep!

Next day we were up and to the Jersey side ferry to Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty. It probably could not have been better weather for it. We had such a good time.

Once home, we called little Jules to come stay the night. Julia adores Jessica and their relationship is so sweet, I'm hoping it will last through the years.
The two girls spend their time quietly - girl talk - special interests - we love having them together in the house.

Next day was family pool day. What fun! I nearly drowned myself attempting a "trick" Jessica tried to teach me - but Uncle Larry came through and did it beautifully. I was in awe. Jessica also got me off the high dive. That night she and Pop Pop went to a Phillies game.

The Sunday before she left was down time. She and I went to the book store for the next book in the series she is reading, and she read it all that day. We just spent the day quietly, had dinner at home and I think we were all subdued as it was her last day with us.
I know wondrous things will happen in the world because of this child. And I am proud to be her Grandmother.

But then, I'd say this about all my grandchildren...for after all, if a Grandmother can't brag, who can? Love to all.

Not a Complete Waste of Time......

I keep thinking that I might get off Face Book and stay off. If I spent less time on there, and less time watching TV I just fantasize about what I might accomplish! I might be thin! My house might be neater! I might have quilts and other things done!
Yesterday morning I awoke to a note on Face Book. It has changed my life - and I didn't have to do a thing but still be on Face Book.
For years I've wondered about my Aunt Florrie and her two children. She was very special to me in my early teen years. Her babies were beautiful, and sweet. I can close my eyes and still see my Grandma rocking them and singing her "rocking song" and I have searched many times for them in various ways. Once Aunt Florrie and my uncle were divorced, she seemed to have dropped out of sight. We had heard she had died.
Yesterday's e-mail was from her daughter! And her mother is very much alive!
Harold and Marianne are, of course, all grown up now...tho' I still think of him as Baby Harold, and it shouldn't be long before we get together. I especially want to hug Aunt Florrie once more.
It's a happy time - thanks to Face Book....so I guess I'll sort of waste my time...since it wasn't such a waste after all.
What's better than fitting a piece of the family puzzle back in place?

85 Years Young

"YOU'RE INVITED" the card read, "TO BILL'S 85TH BIRTHDAY BRUNCH"

We were so happy that we were free to attend this special occasion for a special friend. Bill has turned 85 and has done it so well! He makes it look good. His son Denis and Daughter-in-law Sue had included us in the gathering at the Moshulu - an old ship/restaurant docked at Penn's Landing in Philadelphia for an amazing feast to pay tribute to their Dad. The honor was ours.

Happy, Happy Birthday Bill, and many, many happy, healthy years to come. We love you!

Date Night

We almost never had "date nights" when the kids were growing up. It was lack of money, energy, time and/or babysitter. Lar went to night school for about nine years to graduate from college...and during the early years he worked night work a lot too. With one income - and not a great one since he was the classic American work-your-way-up man - started as a mailboy and worked his way up the corporate ladder to Corporate Staff - was a talking point for the company to show how you can do it. But his salary never caught up.
Anyway, now "date nights" are a common event. We do it a lot. We do dinner, movies, lunches even. But mostly, the magic is still there after 47+ years. Most of the time we step away from everything stressful in our lives and step out into a place where we have lots to talk about, mostly it's all positive, all happy. We laugh a lot. We find out things, some new, some not so new we love about each other. I think it might have been good that we waited so many years to be able to do this.
On Thursday night we had a quick salad and went to see Inception. One of the special things I love about my man is that he will go see almost any movie. "Chick flicks" do not dismay him. He loves them. Inception was Not a Chick flick in the traditional manner, yet, in some ways it really was. It was an action film with lots of Chicky type feeling...we both loved it. And the special effects! Wow!
On Friday he drove over to pick me up from work for lunch, and we had a lovely, almost outdoor lunch at Pat's. They have this entire front that opens out onto a patio...we sat inside looking out, and it was terrific. And at the next table were four kids from highschool who had been practicing football and were there for lunch too. It felt right having them there, almost with us....brought back such memories. That night he decided we should go out for dinner too. We went to Nunzio's, a restaurant we love but haven't visited in a long time. I perused the menu and actually couldn't find anything that tempted me so I spoke with the waiter and they made special for me angel hair with broccoli raab....OMG! It was amazing! A glass or two of red wine and the evening was perfect.
Date nights are so good....even if they took a long time to get here. I cherish every one of them. Thanks Lar.

JUST NOT ENOUGH!

There just isn’t enough summer.
There just isn’t enough time with family.
I’ve been looking so forward to the McCay Reunion planned by the “PA McCays.”
And it was yesterday! It is over! We were together about 6 hours, it was getting dark, time to go home and once again I was sitting there wondering “where did the time go?”
As someone who grew up among a lot of family just upstairs, just across the street, I sorely miss the close time of companionship with several generations, all the stories one heard, all the advice – wanted or not – all the support and love that you feel growing up that way. And yes, the criticism, the censoring, that which at one time felt like negative attention, but which you come to know as sincere forms of trying to help.
Now that I am older, I find myself listening, when our family gets together, to what is happening in the clusters of conversation. The comparing family traits – I won’t go into some of them! – telling of old stories over and over again – talking over childbearing, child raising, child care, getting ready for retirement, recipes, travel, health concerns, building, gardening, crafting, all the things that make up life, and conversing about them with people who actually care, people who truly want the best for you – who will hurt if it doesn’t turn out well – who will rejoice when it does.
Of course, family, as I have often said, is a point of view, a frame of mind….there are certainly friends who fill the bill….blood relations aren’t required, but as Leenie and I were saying last night…there is something rather beautiful in the tapestry of our children, all family, blending and weaving and fitting together in the dance that is family…we feel our hearts swell with pride and gratitude when we can watch them together….the boys – their wives, their children…..almost a oneness that we will leave to grow beyond us.

Mommy Amy with Maddie and Sammie McCay.

The Patriarchs - Dan and Larry - great time for conversation.

Host, Tim with daughter Mollie.


Mom Mom with Maddie.

Tim, Colleen and Larry 4th.

Larry 3rd, Jeff.

Loving Uncle Larry (3rd) with Maddie.

Group photos - one with - one without the beautiful bird house gourds made by Dan and Leenie. Each family got to pick the one of their choice. Uncle Dan also made one for Mike's family who were unable to join us.

Hostess, Amy had the kids prepare signs to show Mike, Tina and Jessica that they were thought of and missed.

Post-Reunion Dance Party! While the grown-ups were ready to call it quits, the kids had just got started!

Stars of the day....The lovely gourds Dan and Leenie made....any bird would be proud to call this home!

Perfect day and a great memory of the summer of 2010.

Just One Moment

Just one moment - suspended in time - you would hardly know, looking at the picture, that at least four of us had broken hearts.

We'd gathered at Knoebels Amusement Park at Gwen's request. She was dying. We all knew it. We all wanted to fight it somehow. We wanted to deny it. But we knew.

She insisted this be the place we all gathered to have fun one last time.

We would have gone anywhere for her.

Gwen is in the front - her hand - as always - protectively reaching out to her brother Bill - they had such a bond. And I think Bill's face betrays his pain.....

I just came across this picture as I was sorting out some things to be scrap booked - and I just sat with it - reliving the love and the pain, the sorrow at losing her, the joy in being a part of the 5 of us - for too short a time, but nevertheless.

She's gone home.....and I think she will be waiting when we get there. And knowing her, she'll have it all sorted out and we'll do whatever she tells us. She may have been the baby, but she was certainly the boss of us! Love you Gweney.