Back in Time For the Future - Part 1

I can’t say what inspires some of us to cherish and savor family ties more than others. I don’t know what the dynamic is that causes just a small number of people in each generation to care about the past…to try to establish strong links between those who came before and those not yet come. Is it a gene, or a weakness or a strength that results in boxes and books and bags and piles of memorabilia-photos-cards-letters-papers-print outs from days gone by?
I only know that I caught it, whatever it was, and it drives me. It frustrates me. Sometimes it makes me cry. Sometimes it brings me great joy.
This weekend past I wallowed in it. And my dear husband has a touch of it too; else he would not have enabled me by driving hundreds of miles and by sitting by the hour as I indulged myself.
We set out on Thursday morning to drive to Waymart PA to visit my mother’s cousin, Jane Carpenter (nee Thomas) who lives in an assisted living facility there. We’d never met to the best of our recollection. I’d heard her name. We’d spoken a couple of times on the telephone since I recently found her. And we’d written. I didn’t even know what she looks like.
We arrived at the bucolic locations….beautiful rolling farmland, sunny day and a truly nice and cheerful facility. The religiously affiliated organization owns the farm across the way, a recreation facility as well as the assisted living. We were escorted back to her room and I immediately saw both my Grandmother Gwen and my mother in her. We were instantly comfortable with each other, I think and the reminiscing began.
Jane is the daughter of my Grandmother’s sister Annie. She recently turned 97 or 98, and she is still as sharp as the proverbial tack. She says she has a tendency to stray off topic. I informed her that I have done that for years. Not an age thing, apparently – perhaps genetic. Only once in our two hour visit did she stop to say…”now what was I saying?” I do that on a regular basis.
Jane never had children, and it took her many years to come to realize the importance of one’s roots. Therefore, she has no burden of family pictures or memorabilia. She does have, however, a good memory, the most beautiful, graceful hands, and a family of step-children who care for her, love her, support her and visit her. She has such gratitude for her many blessings. She is such a positive, cheerful lady.
The farm across the road has just had a foal born and there is a contest among the residents of Jane’s facility to name him. Jane’s offering is Dexter. That was the horse she loved as a girl. She talked about how her father, who was loud, would frighten Dexter and he would shake. She, on the other hand, could whisper in his ear and calm him. He responded so differently to her. I guess one might say she was the original “horse whisperer!”
I asked if it would be alright to take her picture. Her reactions were not what I expected. She immediately began to rise from her chair – wanting to pose somewhere better, and she was fussing with her hair….was unhappy with her clothing….and it was then I notice the lovely manicure she had on her long and shapely nails. You have to love that!
It was difficult to leave. I asked her several times if our visit was tiring her but her answer was “it is worth it!” She loved having us there. Finally it had come to be time for her dinner and we thought it best to leave and give her about ½ hour to rest until dining. As we gathered up our things, she literally hopped up from her chair, grabbed her Zimmer and we accompanied her at a brisk pace to the front door. We kissed (she kissed me just as my Grandma and my mother did !) and she held Larry’s face in her hands and thanked him for bringing me and then she said, “I can’t watch you go.” and walked off toward the dining room. I’d love to think I’ll see her again. But who can say.